Life.

Jaxxon's due date came and went. Shane says this date has no real significance anymore his due date/birthday is February 26Th. I guess when you have waited for so long to have a due date it's etched in your memory forever! I've been kinda of down and the weather isn't helping! I feel like God has been confirming things in my spirit. It's nice to have reassurance but tough b/c I'm still on Gods timeline and not mine!


A couple of Fridays ago we traveled to my old stomping grounds for camp meeting good ole Tiger Mountain. It's so weird how just a building can drum up so many emotions and memories. Of a time before I knew such loss. But God is faithful. We had a great time of worship and we get settled in for the preaching. I forgot his name but he was a black preacher, the kind that gets into it. He said pull out your bibles, and I turned to Shane and said he's going to preach on Joseph, and guess what he said turn to Genesis 41! Yes God I'm listening! He said a phrase at the very beginning of his sermon, you are going to give BIRTH to you dream. There are so many other terms to describe a dream being fulfilled, but for some reason god gave him Birth. he then proceeded to preach on how Joseph named his son to mean I gave BIRTH in the land of my grief. I got goose bumps and could hardly stay seated b/c of the confirming words. If you only knew how my personal devotions and the sermons I have heard come right back to that! streams of tears of joy ran down my face. I'm sure Shane thought I was a complete nut! Ha!

His sermon went on and he referenced this verse

I tell you the truth unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it stays a single seed, but if it dies it becomes many seeds." (John 12:24)

Right after I lost Jaxx God spoke to me through this verse in fact I wrote about it on March 24, 2009. and right after he referenced that, he quoted this verse


I am making EVERYTHING new (Revelation 21:5)

which I wrote about in the exact same post. GOD IS GOOD!

He said something that struck me. You have to die and be planted before you can have a harvest. When the devil is trying to tell you he's burying you. Your really just being planted. There's stuff in that dirt you need to learn. To help you be fruitful in the land of your grief! It was a great word from God and my soul so needed it! I'm believing in God, Thankful for faith, clinging to hope!

Let go and Let GOD heal! He said that exact line... How many time over the last month have I posted something similar! You can't tell me that wasn't for me!