What Might have been...

I try not to think about what might have been,
Cus that was then and we have taken different roads.
We can't go back again, there's no use giving in.
And there's no way to know, what might have been.

Well as Jaxxon due date approaches it has reminded me of the loss of him. It's weird to think that he would almost one or one years old by now... I wonder who he would have been. Then I remember he's exactly who God wanted him to be. With us for 22 weeks. No more, No less. I have truly felt the release of so much anger. I'm daily letting God heal. That's kinda been the reoccurring theme in my life right now let go and let God heal. I have been hoping again. Yes, it scares me to death that I may never get pregnant again. That we may never have children. I just feel like God is not going to let that happen. If he does he will be the same God even then. I was reading a book called Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. There was a line in the book that read something like this Hope hurts, because if you start to hope and it doesn't happen you felt like you have failed yet again. I'm choosing hope with the only condition that God's will be done in my life. It's not like I have ANY control any way. So why not cast my cares upon Jesus! I want to leave you with Lyrics to a song that touches my heart every time I hear it!

Before the Morning

Josh Wilson

Do you wonder why you have to,
feel the things that hurt you,
if there's a God who loves you,
where is He now?

Maybe, there are things you can't see
and all those things are happening
to bring a better ending
some day, some how, you'll see, you'll see

Chorus:
Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the dark before the morning

My friend, you know how this all ends
and you know where you're going,
you just don't know how you get there
so just say a prayer.
and hold on, cause there's good who love God,
life is not a snapshot, it might take a little time,
but you'll see the bigger picture

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the dark before the morning
yeah, yeah,
before the morning,
yeah, yeah

Once you feel the way of glory,
all your pain will fade to memory
once you feel the way of glory,
all your pain will fade to memory
memory, memory, yeah

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

com'n, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the hurt before the healing
the pain you've been feeling,
just the dark before the morning
before the morning, yeah, yeah
before the morning