I haven't gotten a chance to really sit down and write out my thoughts of what the last month have meant to me... I really didn't know how to put it in words. I'm not going to lie and say I had no fear coming into the world of foster/adopting because the truth is I had many. If I let myself I could be completely crippled by them. I will admit that there have been a time or two I've given into the fear, and have had to surrender again the whole thing to God. It's pretty laughable to think that there is even anything else to do but surrender. Back in April the week before Easter I got the nerve to ask my social worker about LM and she said there was a chance of her being able to come to our home. I was elated. I remember crying, really more like sobbing in the shower after I called everyone to share the good news. I was just so relieved after five years of bad news we were finally getting what seemed like a YES! I was completely over taken with joy praising God through my tears.
So almost immediately after I received the good email my mind traveled to a million question mode. I emailed her back and asked if I should be getting things ready for her. Her email left me a little discouraged and I was pretty bummed. Then it hit me that it wasn't a no just not right now and refused to feel defeated. So instead I decided in that moment that it was all up to God if she would be ours. for a short while or forever... Then May came and went and still no news really to speak of it was a really hard month! Then at the beginning of June we got the call that we would get her for a week of respite care and we couldn't be happier but I still wasn't sure what the future held but we had a week with this precious girl and I couldn't refuse it! the the current foster mom called and the first thing out of her mouth was she will probably be adoptable. The feeling I got after that phone call was like affirmation that she would be ours.
So here we are a month later and still now solid news, we do know they are moving her to us probably by the end of July and we are just patiently ok maybe not so patiently :) but waiting no the less. God spoke to me through verse Revalations 21:5 when my grief was still so raw then again on then again through a preacher in early July 2010 I can't help but smile when I think he has made EVERYTHING NEW!
So I will rejoice in his promises for making everything new, and reap the harvest of what he planted! Thank you lord for giving me joy unspeakable!
This picture makes my heart do flip flops to watch Shane be a dad is one of the best things I have ever witnessed! LM is one lucky lady! I never doubted Shane would be a fantastic father, but he has way exceded my expectations!
Our first family photo! The only time I ever get really sad is when I think we will never have a truly complete family photo. But this is our life now and man it sure looks beautiful!
(once the adoption is finalized I will be taking off the heart stickers so you can see her sweet beautiful face!)
I am Blessed!!!