Monday, March 16, 2009

rough day.

It was the first weekend with out Shane and I have been having trouble sleeping. I did have a lot of fun with my Mom and Sister, and Aunt Karen just a girls weekend. The hard part was going shopping with my Mom and fighting the urge to go shopping for my baby. I had to remind myself constantly that I had no need to go the baby section at any given store we were in. I thought I was doing good had my missing him under control. Then this weekend it just hit me all over again. I guess this will be a lot longer process than what I thought. Driving home on Sunday it hit me all over again that I was going home without my baby. I'm feeling so empty today. So I'm praying for extra comfort from God today. I almost feel that I'm back a square one. I'm also praying that God will give me a new focus. For the last three years it has been trying to get pregnant then when I got pregnant it was counting the days til he got here. So I feel like I'm not waiting on anything right now I feel lost and useless. So thank you for listening to my heart. I know many are praying and it truly is carrying me through. I just am having a rough day.

6 comments:

Kendra said...

God is good, and I know he will provide the peace and understanding for you and Shane. I have been praying for you continuously, as you have been on my mind here lately.
In Christ,
Kendra

Anonymous said...

I will be praying for you extra hard today. Love Ya !

Heather

Michelle said...

you are not useless..and you know that. I pray for you guys everynight...I know God has big plans for you it's just the waiting that is hard, but in HIS time He will reveal it to you. Keep your head up. You are a wonderful, caring, beautiful person inside and out!!!! I am here if you need me.

Sarah said...

Ash, I'm so sorry you had a rough weekend. At least you look really good! (My mom told me she saw you and she said you look really good!) Like many, I am continuing to pray for your family, and I know God will give you your peace again.

Becky said...

Never forget how much we love you and Shane!

Kara said...

Praying that God reveals to you what His plans are for your future! It is hard to feel useless, even I do at times with the boys at home. Some days will be harder than others but know that on those days you will be lifted up to God even more! I am praying for you!