Monday, March 16, 2009
It was the first weekend with out Shane and I have been having trouble sleeping. I did have a lot of fun with my Mom and Sister, and Aunt Karen just a girls weekend. The hard part was going shopping with my Mom and fighting the urge to go shopping for my baby. I had to remind myself constantly that I had no need to go the baby section at any given store we were in. I thought I was doing good had my missing him under control. Then this weekend it just hit me all over again. I guess this will be a lot longer process than what I thought. Driving home on Sunday it hit me all over again that I was going home without my baby. I'm feeling so empty today. So I'm praying for extra comfort from God today. I almost feel that I'm back a square one. I'm also praying that God will give me a new focus. For the last three years it has been trying to get pregnant then when I got pregnant it was counting the days til he got here. So I feel like I'm not waiting on anything right now I feel lost and useless. So thank you for listening to my heart. I know many are praying and it truly is carrying me through. I just am having a rough day.